Of all the
adjustments to country living, the largest learning curve of all (so large I’m
still learning it) is time management. For one thing, there are so many cute
things to distract (like 16 goats, 5 dogs and a cat…not counting the fish and frog…not
counting the stray frogs, dogs, turtles and such that likewise grace my scene
on a regular basis.). Another problem, I no longer
wear a watch, and given I find sports like weed pulling and corn shucking
meditative in nature, if I’m not
careful, I can lose myself for hours in the monkish chop wood/ carry
water-type tasks. Another time management area -- neighbors who drop in when passing
by. No one seemed to “get” how writers work. Nobody’s sitting
around eating bon bons aroud here. If I’m not feeding something, brushing
something, hauling something or fixing something, I’m writing about feeding,
brushing, hauling or fixing…all of which makes for my livelihood so as to
support my little family of 20-something. But eventually, I gave into that one
as well, after all, there is nothing more precious to me than Thurman paying a
visit or Miss Duff calling to share a recipe.
And then there are the friends and
family you MAKE time for. You know…the ones who go out of their way to to come
see you. The ones with kids who, if you don’t catch ‘em now, will soon be off
to college, with you holding Christmas cards to remember them by.
This is not
a blog complaining for too little time. I have the same number of hours as
anyone else. But I am mindful that here of late, most everyone I talk to these days (country or city) is
struggling with time management, and God knows I could lead the brigade…but I’m
not talking about that either. What I’m talking about is simple
reprioritization, which lately has become a recurring theme.
Remember
when I wrote of getting more of what you subsidize? Well, I’ve decided that my
friends, my family…those who reach out to say “I’d like to come see you” or “A day
in the country would do me good” are a big part of the “causal” side of the
whole “cause and effect” equation. (The "effect" being time with those I love, time spent with meaningful people, having meaningful conversations, forming lasting relationships.) You post a few pics on Facebook showing adorable
critter faces, you should probably expect a few folks will write to say “Can
I come pet them too?” Challenge has been (so I'm telling myself), I am
one person, and until I have help making sure all the rest gets tended to,
stopping to unplug (as is key when someone has gone to the trouble to
load up and make the drive) …well, how do I manage this, especially when I WANT to be nothing but fully present for times like these.
 |
| This is my precious cousin, Landon, meeting his cousin, Stella, for the very first time! |
After all, books still have deadlines, bills
still have to get paid…the house, yard and garden need constant attention. So
far, my not-so-intentional reaction has been, shove it, stuff it, cram it in a
corner, worry about it later, which means when the guests leave and I’m back to
myself, a slow moving blanket of guilt and shame starts creeping back in for me
not having done it all to perfection. (“It” being the housecleaning,
weed-eating, bowl scrubbing, dogfood
heating…you know, those things otherwise known as life.)
Lately I’ve
caught myself complaining (mostly to my journal…now, here in my blog) for
having too many friends and not enough time. Any one of them going through
something and I want to be there. And if they need to talk badly enough to
drive an hour getting here and another hour going home, well, the least I can
do is be present and forget laundry for another day.
I was
recently asked to speak at a women’s conference whose theme was “Being Mary in
a Martha World.” Great topic, btw. For those unfamiliar, it’s in reference to the
story where Jesus visits Mary and Martha, and Martha (as in Stewart) is
scurrying about tending to hosting duties, while Mary sits admiringly at his
feet. (My Sunday School flannel board version always had Mary looking a lot
like Nancy Reagan in a bathrobe.) In the end, Martha speaks up, voicing her
annoyance at a sister who’s not EVEN helping out, only to be chided by Jesus
who praises Mary for making the wiser choice in being fully present while she
had him in her midst…Something I’m sure only added insult to injury to Martha,
who was just trying to be a good Southern hostess.
But the
point of the story is as valid today as it was 2,000 years ago. There are some
things for which a non-mopped floor or an unscrubbed bowl can wait~ Things like
family coming to see you…or a friend who says “I need to talk.” Or the magic in
a young child’s eyes when he discovers that “Goats are our friends!” on the
same day he learns where corn comes from.
I’ll
probably always be mindful of the tasks that didn’t get done before guests
arrive. But given I can’t (make that “won’t”) let this quirk in my wiring
disrupt the more important aspects of my life, well, it leaves me rethinking
the whole time proposition as I seek new ways to manage mine better.
While far
from resolved, I am aware there’s a pea under the mattress of my life. My job? To start removing the layers till I discover why it’s there and what gift it brings…
