Unmet Expectations

     There is nothing more disappointing than watching something you've been working on for weeks, go up in smoke....Nothing more disappointing than anticipating... looking forward to something you've poured heart and soul into, going flat out bust. (Wait. I take that back. There is something more disappointing. It's when you've invested that time and energy into someONE. There is nothing more disappointing than when someone you thought you could count on, lets you down.)
     Sure, it happens. You see it in business all the time. But when your business and your personal go hand in hand...when your partners are like family, let's just say it packs an extra punch to the gut.
     Here of late I've seen a lot of board rooms; I've been involved more meetings than usual. The business side of my world (i.e. the part that pays my bills) is suddenly filled with entrepreneurial types taking (what appears to be) a sudden interest in the sorts of things I've been doing and writing about for the past 2 -3 years, with my garden, critters and creations. Granted, I love this farm life, and I plan to stay. But it turns out, what I embraced as a new chapter, born of a gnawing, internal desire to step back, hole up, figure out my life, (while documenting the journey) others see as trend-worthy, marketable...i.e. the future.
     While flattered that business types see potential in what they call "sustainable living' to me it's personal. So it stands to reason I'm going to weigh things with a little more heart despite what business numbers and market trends might suggest, (though don't get me wrong, I take these things seriously too).
     It comes as no surprise to me, this growing interest in sustainable living. Call it the environmental right thing, call it health-driven or call it common sense, somewhere deep inside seems others too, are sensing we can't keep up the facade without repercussion. I have been careful in wording these blogs not to lean into doomsday scenarios or "prepper" theories, for in truth, that is not what brought me to this table. But I will say I hear from these folks...often. And you'd be surprised to find how very everyday and ordinary they are. (They just have food and water stored alongside their generators, and  like me, want to know how to grow and store more should the situation call for it.)
     It doesn't take a rocket scientist to spot that the US economy is not that stable; and despite our thinking that what's happening in Greece is their problem, it is not. It is a global problem, and one that governments can't keep bailing out without it coming from somewhere. And while investor types come at this self-sustaining wave with impressive research to back it, what I have is a gut feel, based on paying attention to one life (namely my own)--taking note as I go.
     My market research consists of increases in emails from people I barely know wanting to know how much land it takes. I'm noticing more hits on FB when it comes to certain topics...The number of folks reaching out personally, asking questions about growing their own or wanting to come visit and experience first hand, has started to take up larger and larger portions of my working day, so much so, that we are now making plans to walk you through things via video blog next go round.
     As a matter of spiritual philosophy, I'm a big believer that if you seek, you will find...if you knock, doors will open. (I'm also a big believer that when one door closes, a better one awaits, especially when what you've been asking is to be protected from those who might be there for the wrong reasons. I'm big on asking for protection.) It is also my belief that God protects those who seek to make use of the talents they've been given, provided they're doing it for good and not just selfish gain. And it's been my experience that the sooner I can forgive, the sooner my energy can return to its normal creative flow. (As it turns out, the same energy it takes to process disappointment, is the same energy you need to create new solutions or entirely new projects all together.)
     It was not for thinking of doomsday scenarios that led me to ask "What matters most in my life?" It was a spiritual search that led me to question, "If I am going to invest my time and energy into something for good, what will it be and who am I best working with to make it happen?" for it is also my belief that we are only as good, productive, successful (pick your adjective) as those we surround ourselves with, and for me, trustworthiness tops that list. I want to surround myself with people who share my vision for helping others...people who want the best and highest good not just for themselves, but for those around them, and for others who can benefit in the grander scheme of things.
     You can plan till the cows come home for what you'd do in the event of a crisis. But meanwhile life is lived in the day to day, and fortunately, the day to day gives us ample opportunity to see things for what they are. Any soldier will tell you the buddy who winds up with you in your foxhole is as important as the foxhole plan itself. And to my way of thinking, it's good to test this mettle early, even in the small stuff...long before the bigger plan is called for.