The Bluer my Porch?
Call it ADD. Call it OCD. Call it "Karlen's preferred method come time to try catapulting herself out of a funk...(Also known as 'sadness'...Also known as "stuck-dom". Feel free to insert your own word here, because today has been one of those days, and based on the handful of folks I've spoken with today, it appears I'm not the only one feeling tidal waves of helplessness, if not sheer numbness by this point, when it comes to the many goings on in the world today.)
On the one hand, I confess: I Know I've consumed WAY too much news first week of this new year. And I KNOW it's not healthy mentally, and for sure, it's breaking my heart...And yet, watch, I do. I guess somewhere deep within the recesses of my being, I am silently thinking/hoping/praying that somewhere along the way, somehow, someone will make sense of it all for me. But instead, things playing out in this (so called) "real world" seem only to frustrate, depress and divide us all the more, and I don't know about you, but I'm stumped as to what I personally can do about it.
In times like these, in my own attempts at balance and sanity (since hopeful and positive seem SO out of reach) I find myself unconsciously turning to an inner short list of self-invented, fall-back routines I can count on and turn to, if for no other reason than to have something/anything to show for my little day (small though that effort may be in the grand scheme of life).
For instance, my short list of VERY small, self-imposed, tried and true options, (i.e. things that at least leave me feeling (even if in the SMALLEST of ways) that "Hey, I tried." So far said list includes: ironing, mowing and painting. Here recently I added 'power-washing' to this list of things I can do to "leave life better than I found it" ...i.e. take something from a ratty, 'needs help' state, and turn it into something left better for me having (ironed/mowed/painted or powerwashed the thing!) I find myself when lost in that mental whirlwind of "What's It All About, Alfie?" subconsciously gravitating towards my dryer, my tractor, a paint can or a garden hose, as there is something very soothing to me in choosing a task that is absolutely mindless, but one that starts with something much in need of straightening out, that, (lo and behold!) "I" can actually straighten out! Just me! (I told you we're not talking peace treaties here or solving the global warming. No. This is about solving SOMEthing...(again, ANYthing) so as to give my 'feeling-way-too-hopeless/helpless' spirit even the tiniest pat on the back, for pausing long enough (especially when my mind starts to go down the rabbit hole) to remind myself there's a difference between those things I can vs. the many things I cannot change. And I'd be wise to take note.
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