Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Matters of the Heart (an update from the girl who's had open heart surgery)

   
     Seems a good time for a blog...
     I am happy to report I am home from the hospital, new ticker in tact...resting and on the mend.
     I am sad to report that, best efforts aside, I am worthless right now at managing things...Things like pain...Things like energy levels...Basically any things that have to do with the left half/linear hemisphere of my brain.
     File it under "Gosh darn...Who knew?" but may I take this moment to say ~ "Everybody check your hearts, OK?" I dare say most of us are walking around with way too much stress and far too little awareness of where it might play out in our bodies. Then there are others of us (lucky lottery winners that we are) who have our genes to thank for things that crop up out of nowhere with precious little warning, save for a few odd symptoms that you may or may not recognize as heart related. (Mine felt lungs related, but turns out it was my heart faking me out.)
     When it comes to my mother, I am happy...honored even, to have inherited her big brown eyes and her warped sense of humor. But sadly, I was not so thrilled to discover a few short weeks ago that I also inherited her leaky mitral valve. That hers began giving her problems at the precise age I am this day was one of but a few clues I had to go on; other clues included a sudden drop in energy level and a rude, yet rapidly evolving habit of having to stop at the top of stairs to catch my breath.
     Frightening as that was, there was no pain at the time and for this I was truly grateful. The bad news is what once consumed 30 minutes of precious morning rituals (i.e. the serving of the brekfusses to my crew of 27), was now taking more than 90 and came with a lot of heavy breathing, (breathing that, for the record, even goats do not find sexy).
     Nothing like entering the holidays knowing that open heart surgery awaits you on the other side, but I'm happy to report that today the prognosis is good. There were 2 operational approaches in consideration: 1) the crack-open-your-chest / zipper club variety, the other, a less invasive "side" approach that (I was warned) would be preferable by way of scarring and recovery time, but was loads more painful on the front end (a detail quite frankly, they did not stress nearly enough).
     I will not lie; the pain of this ordeal has been excruciating; I'm no doubt a pain wuss, but I can honestly say I've never experienced pain at levels that drugs won't reach but when asked repeatedly as they love to do when waking you every so many hours in hospital settings "On a scale of 1 - 10, what's your pain level?"  my answer for a solid week and a half was, "13"
     Today, for the first time since my surgery, I awoke to something akin to pressure more than pain, a gift that brought me to my knees for all the right reasons. I am grateful to report they were able to use my own heart's tissue on the repair and that no pigs were harmed in the saving of my heart. The rest of my recovery I credit to good doctors, great neighbors, soulful friends, a brother who stayed by my side through it all and what I now see on Facebook as a whole bunch of prayers going up on my behalf. For this I say again and again: Thank you! By this I am humbled and deeply touched. Through this I have learned and am still learning the meaning of surrender.
     "My heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you for the love you have beamed my way..." is something I say literally and sincerely these days, and I am not kidding when I tell you this truly comes "from the bottom of my heart..."
     In short...
     I am
     grateful beyond words ~
   

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Matters of the Heart (an update from the girl who's had open heart surgery)

         Seems a good time for a blog...      I am happy to report I am home from the hospital, new ticker in tact...resting and on the ...