A Day Well Lived

     If you had one last day on planet earth,  how you would spend it? Would you race to wrap projects at work? Would you spend the day calling old friends, checking in with people you barely see, or would you block out the world to hole up with one person or the precious few you love most?
     Since none of us know how long we have in these bodily earth suits, perhaps we'd be wise to take a cue from that Tim McGraw song and start living like we were dying...
     If I had but one day left on earth, I'd live it just like today... Not that there was anything earth-shattering about this day, but because this day contained within it, everything I love about life as I know it, despite the fact that the day had its fair share of tears.
   

    For starters, I woke up on the couch with a crick in my neck... Why? Because today was the day I was to take Layla in to see if she was strong enough for surgery, so to give her the most peaceful night possible, I slept with her by my side knowing no matter the outcome, for the next several weeks, her life would not be nearly so pleasant.
     We were at the vet early, signing papers, having had lots of conversations with various vets, clinics and surgeons. Since Layla's body has not developed properly, we did a pre-surgical workup, checking blood and all her organs to make sure she could handle what was to be an attempt to pin and wire her leg, all while granting the surgeons permission, should they find it inoperable, to remove it.
     I had fallen asleep to the smell of homemade pies, as someone I love lost his wife 2 days ago, (creating comfort foods, being pure reflex for Southern girls in times like these).
     Upon delivering said food, I next went to see a friend, where for the next few hours we talked and we laughed and we cried. Our topics covered a range of things...  things like life and death and what comes next and how we feel about it. The fact that my friend has just brought in Hospice had precious little to do with it. These have always been our topics. Thoughts of life and its limited earthly span are concepts I'm embracing more and more these days, for I am convinced we've been viewing it all wrong. If life is teaching me anything, it's that attachment is not the goal, rather it's detaching that will keep you sane...Not to say we don't care deeply for things of a physical nature. I am fighting with all my might to save Layla's leg and I sure don't want my friend to die, but the essence of what these life experiences is teaching me...the meaning in these moments...that IS life. That's the point...not the material, physicality of the matter.
     I personally believe my friend will live forever, part time here/full time in places more glorious than "here" could ever hope to be...What's more, there's no guarantee she's going first just because she got a warning sign. I've been on a roll of losses here of late and to cope, I have to believe there is more,  but more than that, having lost some of the most precious people in my life here recently, I can honestly say I know there is more. (I have come to recognize that what I miss most are their hugs, for their presence is still very real in my day to day life.)
     It wasn't a sad visit...to the contrary. While I did make her and her husband cry with a song I wanted them to hear, our laughter far outweighed the tears. What it was was a REAL visit...no idle chit chat about the weather or what we saw on TV last night. The conversation was about real feelings...poignant feelings...feelings about what we care about most in life and talking of people we love. If cancer diagnoses and life's rude awakenings bring us here, then I say "Thank you God for the gift" for it is in these experiences that priorities surface most readily. (Oh but to get here without the abrupt wake up calls...now THAT is the goal if you ask me.)
     Driving home I spoke with one of two surgeons who worked on Layla. The operation was a success! They were able to save her leg with pins and wires~ Layla lives to run another day, which brought joy to my heart and a tear to my eye. (Given she's only 11 months old, the thought of her having a full life ahead to romp and play and run as Pyrs are born to do, makes me very happy indeed.)
      I came in to unplug and to meditate before changing into work clothes and heading straight for my garden where finally (after too many days of too much rain) I tilled lavender fields until sunset...

     And that, my friends, is what I call a picture perfect day...a note in the key of Karlen.
     May the ones that remain hold just as much meaning and love.

Post Script:
     My heartfelt thanks to those who reached out in support of Layla. Your prayers, your love, your contributions have touched me deeply and helped me personally when facing decisions I felt overwhelmed and unqualified to make. We have quite a bit of rehab ahead as Layla must be confined for a matter of weeks, so fragile are things, but for those who have asked, a fund is set up at the vet; if you'll email me at karlenevins@gmail.com I can tell you where we stand. To those of you who've called or mailed payments already ~ you have my undying gratitude. (Layla thanks you too, as do all my babies ... from the bottom of their Pyr and pygmy hearts!)