Soak, Rinse, Blanch, Inspect: Broccoli Worms I've Grown to Know and Loathe

   

Last survivor...Soon to be voted off the island!

     For those who grow your own, or those of you buying organic, the number one complaint you'll hear about broccoli is "Beware of the bugs!" (They're worms, actually. And odds are good you've eaten one.)
     Never did excitement turned more disappointing than my first grow-round with this plant. For the record, this was one that my farming mentor Thurman was least helpful on, mostly because he doesn't like broccoli. I will forever cherish the memory of his helping me lay out my first garden. I announced I'd like broccoli on my very first row. (It's a winter crop; one of the first to plant and one of the first to harvest.) and was told "Grab some at the co-op and I'll help you stick it in the ground." I return with a full plat of starter plants, basing the calculation purely on how many impatience plants it took to cover a six foot flower bed the year before, only to hear Thurman yell, "Lord child, how much broccoli you gonna eat?" (That was the year my neighbors, friends, church groups, UPS guys and total strangers got free broccoli all season.)
     The plant grew exceptionally well for me. One of the more beautiful plants in my garden actually, only I couldn't SEE the pests. (Nature did her finest camouflage artwork on this one.) Your broccoli head can look and be perfectly still until you turn it over and go to chopping.  Identical in color to the buds of the plant, these little buggers are the original tree huggers. They hide underneath the florets and hold on for dear life when you're trying to dig them out. It's a microcosmic jungle in there, for which my little human fingers were not properly equipped for the guerrilla warfare that was to ensue.
     For the record there are pesticides for this, which we do not use, and a natural product know as Bacillus thuringiensis (BT for short). Purely organic, this bacteria makes the little worms sick in their guts, and kills them before they reproduce. (Same buggers like cauliflower, lettuce and kale and cabbage too, so head's up to you who dare grow it... Literally.)
     Good news is BT is safe for plants, humans and bees. (Bees being my very welcomed, but proving high maintenance guests.) Bad news is, even if you think you got 'em all, (the broc worms, that is) you probably didn't spot 'em all, which is why I soak the heck out of things, wash, rinse, blanch and inspect like a banshee before eating or serving or freezing. (If you do eat them, not to worry, you will live. They are actually a very good source of protein. But it will gross you out first time you see your broccoli salad doing a little dance on your fork.)
     So before you go beating up on your organic growers or return your broccoli head to Whole Foods thinking the big guys shoulda caught it, just know this is a sign they're aren't lying to you about the organic part and it's a challenge for everyone. Best remedy I've come across is soaking in a combination of salt water and vinegar (2 tablespoons of each to a tub of water).
     (For the record, little guy in the picture above came from a broccoli spear I was testing by boiling first. You don't want to start here, as you'll boil out your nutrients, but I wanted to see if they would sink or swim when met with hot water. Turns out they do both. As this guy was the last man standing, taking one for the team, he gets a blog post all his own, and his picture spread across Facebook.)

          I'll even dedicate a song to him...Here's to that Circle of Life. (Copyright credits are purely Disney's. Found the clip on You Tube, so if it doesn't post, hum your own.)
          (Where is that Pumbaa when you need him?)