Time Management

            Of all the adjustments to country living, the largest learning curve of all (so large I’m still learning it) is time management. For one thing, there are so many cute things to distract (like 16 goats, 5 dogs and a cat…not counting the fish and frog…not counting the stray frogs, dogs, turtles and such that likewise grace my scene on a regular basis.). Another problem, I no longer wear a watch, and given I find sports like weed pulling and corn shucking meditative in nature,  if I’m not careful, I can lose myself for hours in the monkish chop wood/ carry water-type tasks. Another time management area -- neighbors who drop in when passing by. No one seemed to “get” how writers work. Nobody’s sitting around eating bon bons aroud here. If I’m not feeding something, brushing something, hauling something or fixing something, I’m writing about feeding, brushing, hauling or fixing…all of which makes for my livelihood so as to support my little family of 20-something. But eventually, I gave into that one as well, after all, there is nothing more precious to me than Thurman paying a visit or Miss Duff calling to share a recipe.

And then there are the friends and family you MAKE time for. You know…the ones who go out of their way to to come see you. The ones with kids who, if you don’t catch ‘em now, will soon be off to college, with you holding Christmas cards to remember them by.

            This is not a blog complaining for too little time. I have the same number of hours as anyone else. But I am mindful that here of late, most everyone I talk to these days (country or city) is struggling with time management, and God knows I could lead the brigade…but I’m not talking about that either. What I’m talking about is simple reprioritization, which lately has become a recurring theme.

            Remember when I wrote of getting more of what you subsidize? Well, I’ve decided that my friends, my family…those who reach out to say “I’d like to come see you” or “A day in the country would do me good” are a big part of the “causal” side of the whole “cause and effect” equation. (The "effect" being time with those I love, time spent with meaningful people, having meaningful conversations, forming lasting relationships.) You post a few pics on Facebook showing adorable critter faces, you should probably expect a few folks will write to say “Can I  come pet them too?” Challenge has been (so I'm telling myself), I am one person, and until I have help making sure all the rest gets tended to, stopping to unplug (as is key when someone has gone to the  trouble to load up and make the drive) …well, how do I manage this, especially when I WANT to be nothing but fully present for times like these.

This is my precious cousin, Landon, meeting his cousin, Stella, for the very first time!

            After all, books still have deadlines, bills still have to get paid…the house, yard and garden need constant attention. So far, my not-so-intentional reaction has been, shove it, stuff it, cram it in a corner, worry about it later, which means when the guests leave and I’m back to myself, a slow moving blanket of guilt and shame starts creeping back in for me not having done it all to perfection. (“It” being the housecleaning, weed-eating,  bowl scrubbing, dogfood heating…you know, those things otherwise known as life.)

            Lately I’ve caught myself complaining (mostly to my journal…now, here in my blog) for having too many friends and not enough time. Any one of them going through something and I want to be there. And if they need to talk badly enough to drive an hour getting here and another hour going home, well, the least I can do is be present and forget laundry for another day.

            I was recently asked to speak at a women’s conference whose theme was “Being Mary in a Martha World.” Great topic, btw. For those unfamiliar, it’s in reference to the story where Jesus visits Mary and Martha, and Martha (as in Stewart) is scurrying about tending to hosting duties, while Mary sits admiringly at his feet. (My Sunday School flannel board version always had Mary looking a lot like Nancy Reagan in a bathrobe.) In the end, Martha speaks up, voicing her annoyance at a sister who’s not EVEN helping out, only to be chided by Jesus who praises Mary for making the wiser choice in being fully present while she had him in her midst…Something I’m sure only added insult to injury to Martha, who was just trying to be a good Southern hostess.

            But the point of the story is as valid today as it was 2,000 years ago. There are some things for which a non-mopped floor or an unscrubbed bowl can wait~ Things like family coming to see you…or a friend who says “I need to talk.” Or the magic in a young child’s eyes when he discovers that “Goats are our friends!” on the same day he learns where corn comes from.

            I’ll probably always be mindful of the tasks that didn’t get done before guests arrive. But given I can’t (make that “won’t”) let this quirk in my wiring disrupt the more important aspects of my life, well, it leaves me rethinking the whole time proposition as I seek new ways to manage mine better.

            While far from resolved, I am aware there’s a pea under the mattress of my life. My job? To start removing the layers till I discover why it’s there and what gift it brings…