Thursday, February 27, 2014

On Life, Love and Romance


So my friend’s in a new relationship.
I was thrilled he found someone new so soon after the divorce, after all, it sucks when your spouse cheats. We had prayed for something wonderful, something healing, and I was certain this was God’s way of making room for something better, and gosh, dern if that didn’t prove to be true…
Still and so (in the words of that Brad Paisley fish song) “I’m gonna miss him.”
            You can always tell when someone starts dating again (mostly by the calls they don’t return). In girlfriend speak this means “Get ready not to see your friend again for the next …ever-how-many-months-it takes-for-the-new-to-wear-off” and/or when the need to cry on your shoulder eventually  wins out and prompts a call…
For those of us who’ve been guilty of the same: we have since made it dating law: Girlfriends: Never neglect your own…especially in the days of a start up~
In all sincerity, given farm life is nothing but a commentary on life in general, dating/mating rituals seems par for the course, and not all that complicated to decipher. It’s seasonal. It’s cyclical. You WILL wish you’d paid attention to the migration patterns.
Still, here’s the part I question:
Anyone who truly loves another person (friend or otherwise) wants to see that person happy. (Period. End of Story.) I'll go one further to say I want them happier than they’ve ever been. If we could cast such a vote for a friend….This would be my vote.
But what the newly in love don’t realize (and yes, I’ve double/triple checked my gut on this) …Leaving behind the best YOU (and those who know and LOVED that best you, precisely as it was) and giving said "you"  over to someone/anyone (read: total stranger) for judgmental approval is a recipe for disaster. (Trust me. I’ve been collecting recipes for a few years now; I’ve got an overstuffed file folder for those involving “disaster”.)
Don’t get me wrong.
No one wants to see the planet more in love than I do. Heck. If everyone were in love right this moment (prisoners included)…stands to reason we’d all be falling asleep lookin’ like a snuggles commercial about now…
But when your newly acquired love status has you leaving behind those who loved you last, for being precisely YOU, ...well, I’m just askin'…What does this say about loyalty genes and people in general?
(See why puppies have taken such a hold on my heart? So much less complicated, don't you think?)

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