Sunday, July 27, 2014

No Pain Like Betrayal (On Unwanted Emotions)

            Not to be all glass half empty, but not everyday comes with glee. There are disappointments …fears…sadnesses. Face it, life is hard. Here of late seems everywhere I turn someone is going through something major, which makes me wonder just what’s about to happen. I feel like those elephants before the tsunami…You know, the ones that headed inland about a week before it hit, guided by something inside that kept them alive...?

Fortunately (or maybe not) we Americans are a blues-dodgin’ bunch. You gotta admit, we have more ways to avoid our feelings than Carter’s got little liver pills.  One glimpse of the evening news will catch you up on the latest anti-depressants (like we don’t need these just to watch the evening news). Alcohol consumption is on the rise. Clearly pot use is hot and happening.
If altering chemicals is not your thing, there are mental tricks to help you avoid those less than fun emotions. We can zombie out in front of the TV, watching shows so mindless they have to nudge us to laugh…or shows so traumatic we come away feeling better by comparison. Then there’s the good ol internet. We can catch up, stalk or scroll the night away, losing hours on end for having electronically reached out, in poor substitution for what real life relationships bring.
And if acting out to avoid your woes is your preference, why you can shop your way through them, eat your way around them…grab a movie and remove yourself from reality entirely for a couple of hours, only to find when you snap back, well, there you are again. Whatever you hoped to avoid is waiting right there for you…just like you left it. Only now you’re a tad bit broker if not a tad bit guiltier for having thought you could dodge the problem in the first place.
Far be it from me to psychologize, but anymore I’m beginning to wonder if we aren’t damaging ourselves with all these avoidance techniques. Sure, who doesn’t want to be happy, happy, happy all the time, but is this realistic? Isn’t the proper response to a hurt or a betrayal supposed to be pain? It’s not like God just gave us one mood to be in, so why do we Americans work so hard to stick with this one mood all the time?
I liken feelings to colors ~ sure we all love cheery yellows and bright reds, but how flat would life’s masterpieces be if there were no darker hues to deepen the effect?
I’ve got a friend who likens feelings to house guests. He says they’re supposed to come, then leave…that our true being lies beneath these moods, that we are merely the host…the observer. Some guests we like better than others so we let them stay longer. Others are not so fun, but even when dealing with one we don’t like, give it time. It will pass.
But as a people…as a country, have we messed with our feelings so much, that we forgot what they’re here for? Thanks to Hollywood have we bought the lie... drunk the Kool-aid? We’ve convinced ourselves that up and perky and happy is the only mood worth having and all the others need to exit stage left, and if they don’t exit on their own, well, we can run ‘em off with any of the afore mentioned techniques. Since happy’s the only one worth keeping, we panic when an unfamiliar one creeps in. We live in mortal fear it’s going to stay too long, so we race for that drink, that drug, that mindless activity to chase it away rather than processing the gift that guest was here to bring.
I’m as guilty as the next person for being rude to these unwanted house guests. No one loves the sadness that comes with betrayal or the emptiness that comes from loss. But as we age…as we start losing those we love….as we get wiser to the fact that yes, life can be hard and yes, people will let you down, perhaps the proper response to those less than desirable feelings is to invite them in…sit with them a spell. Do what country folk do when new neighbors move in. . . get to know them.
I don't know. Just a thought...
   

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